The Learning Curve

I once thought that being a stay at home Dad would become routine once I got the hang of things, but per usual, I was completely wrong.  Walter E. Maher has the mind of Picasso, and he swimmingly illustrates his talents upon all that his eyes can see and his hands can touch.  The true beauty of his work though, resides within the fact that he receives great pleasure in the game that Maher Men have been playing their whole lives.  A game of persistent love and joy for life that is just begging to be shared.  God has blessed me with a Man who just loves to laugh, and boy do I laugh...Especially when I walk into the kitchen and find him covered from head to toe in bread crumbs.

I suspect the bread crumb fiasco was a payback for the whole weaning process that has been going on in our home.  The Man didn't take too kindly at first, but I think he is realizing that whole milk is absolutely delicious.  Every morning I line up 3 sippy cups on his table, fruit smoothie, water and milk.  It is absolutely hilarious watching him go through them as the day goes on.  I know some parents have a tough time transitioning to a cup, but if you just drink from one yourself the child shall follow quickly.  Confession:  I enjoy drinking from a sippy cup, and I've actually put a Miller Lite in one.  YOLO

I must tell all of you (my adoring fans) that I believe parenting in the modern day is nearly hopeless.  I feel that the only reason I am here is to provide my young Man with the feeling that his father loves and will never abandon him.  I tell you this because the human mind is not ready for all the stimulus that 2015 throws at it.  It is also not ready for the fact that liberals are more concerned with gun control, abortion, and not offending "minorities" than they are providing parents with the proper amount of maternity/paternity leave.  Sorry I'm not sorry if I offended your ridiculous ways of thinking.  If you want to stop all the madness, then how about you turn your focus back toward the family unit.  Can I get an OORAH?  Sorry for the break in reality that lead to the political body blow towards liberals.  One day I will realize that not everybody is perfect...

Being a stay at home Dad for nearly a year now has shown me that I am absolutely fabulous at entertaining myself.  With that said, I must thank Walter for showing me that napping twice a day is both healthy and imperative.  Most people refer to "10 and 2" when discussing hand placement on a steering wheel;  Walter and I refer to it as our time to cuddle and dream about Miranda Lambert singing us a love song.  There is nothing better than having my boy wake up and realize his Dad is right by his side.  You wanna know why America is so violent?  Look no further than a lack of a father figure in young boys lives.  #YoumyboyWalter

When I look at the photo above I immediately realize that this young Man is the fruit of my loins.  I've never seen something so perfect and I will never be able to repay my wife for harvesting such a specimen.  The learning curve is incredibly steep for the boy and I.  Everyday we are trying to figure each other out, and even though I don't speak the language of the Gods, I feel that I'm beginning to understand him more and more.  I will tell you that my goal is to have Walter potty trained by the time he reaches 19 PFS (Post Fun Slide).  Walter has been going into the bathroom with me since day 1 and it is incredible to watch his curiosity grow.  I will keep you posted on our progress as I firmly believe he will be grabbing and aiming in just a few months.  #WaltervstheToilet

I guess it's time for me to head to bed, but I must tell you that I'm so happy that God blessed me with fatherhood.  My learning curve is extremely fun to color in with random crayons, because as my critics on "Stackers Row" like to point out...I truly have no clue what I am doing.  I actually have a paralegal at Geico that tells me what is and isn't ok to post on facebook (God bless the Gekko).  Anyway, I just wanted this blog to illustrate how amazing being a father truly is if you just embrace it all.  Heck, this past weekend I was changing Walter diaper and he absolutely projectile pooped all over me.  Now some folks might freak out, and panic...I just cracked up and thanks God that my bucket list got a whole lot lighter.  #Freaky

I love you all and hope that this blog finds you smiling!

Cheers and Love,

Christopher