Wounded Father

When I was a young Man my Grandpa always told me that I had the blood of Kings running through my veins.  He told me that if I just put my mind to something that I could achieve feats that others only dreamed of.  My Grandpa made me believe that I could fly, and to this day my ego believes it to be so.

On August 28th I had a major surgery on my right hip.  Dr. Andrew Wolff performed nothing short of a miracle by saving most of my joint over the course of a four hour surgery.  Prior to this surgery I was told that only a full hip replacement would be able to provide me with the relief that I needed.  Dr. Wolff is at the forefront of the hip field and I will never be able to thank him for the time he took on my first surgery.

I will spare all of you the crazy details, but I will tell you that my recovery has been both painful and very rewarding.  I tell you that it has been rewarding because my focus has come back and boy does it feel good.  On Oct. 7th Dr. Wolff repaired my left hip and I felt pain like I never knew possible.  I am so thankful that my Papa was able to come to D.C and help me handle the most painful of the days.  My father is one of the most remarkable humans I have ever encountered and yet he is also one of the most under utilized.  He is now bald and pretty much blind, but he still has his fitness.  I laugh because he still thinks he can beat me in all things.  

Over the past few months I've struggled in ways that I never thought possible.  A doctor, whom I compare to Harry Potter, performed miracles on both of my hips and even though the pain was tough, I am fighting through it.  My family will never understand my struggle because they think I am invincible and I'm not really sure they understand just how badly I've been hurting for the past few years.  It's funny because I've never really wanted sympathy for my pain, but I really didn't have a choice this time.  Watching Walter try and figure out why his father was down and out was so sad that it absolutely broke my heart.  I will tell you that by the time summer rolls around I will have a body that rivals Magic Mike.  Don't be jealous, just get in line and get your dollar bills ready!

Being a father has changed me in ways I never thought possIible.  Walter Maher is everything to me, and my life has become dedicated to the success of this little stud.  I wish I could tell you that Walter Maher was like any other 16 month old, but he is not.  The Man is fast becoming a living legend like his father, grandfather and great grandfather before him.  The Maher blood has always been magical, but I feel that the concoction that Amy and I have brewed has created something that the world so desperately needed.  We created a Man child that is capable is bringing peace to this world.  "DubbE" or Walter as you know him has been by my side through this healing process and I will never be able to thank him enough.  The photo below describes how I felt when Walter crawled up on my chest.

I shall end this post now, but I want you to know just how amazing it is to be a father who genuinely cares for and protects his Son.  So many liberals and conservatives fight over stupid shit, but it's the parenting that has let this country down.  Walter will never experience poor parenting, because he hit the jackpot, and I will never let him down.  We are brothers before all else, and he will soon earn his title.  In life, you either Man up and respect yourself or you become a Hillary Clinton supporter and you cry yourself to sleep at night.

Cheers and Love!

Christopher William Maher

The Learning Curve

I once thought that being a stay at home Dad would become routine once I got the hang of things, but per usual, I was completely wrong.  Walter E. Maher has the mind of Picasso, and he swimmingly illustrates his talents upon all that his eyes can see and his hands can touch.  The true beauty of his work though, resides within the fact that he receives great pleasure in the game that Maher Men have been playing their whole lives.  A game of persistent love and joy for life that is just begging to be shared.  God has blessed me with a Man who just loves to laugh, and boy do I laugh...Especially when I walk into the kitchen and find him covered from head to toe in bread crumbs.

I suspect the bread crumb fiasco was a payback for the whole weaning process that has been going on in our home.  The Man didn't take too kindly at first, but I think he is realizing that whole milk is absolutely delicious.  Every morning I line up 3 sippy cups on his table, fruit smoothie, water and milk.  It is absolutely hilarious watching him go through them as the day goes on.  I know some parents have a tough time transitioning to a cup, but if you just drink from one yourself the child shall follow quickly.  Confession:  I enjoy drinking from a sippy cup, and I've actually put a Miller Lite in one.  YOLO

I must tell all of you (my adoring fans) that I believe parenting in the modern day is nearly hopeless.  I feel that the only reason I am here is to provide my young Man with the feeling that his father loves and will never abandon him.  I tell you this because the human mind is not ready for all the stimulus that 2015 throws at it.  It is also not ready for the fact that liberals are more concerned with gun control, abortion, and not offending "minorities" than they are providing parents with the proper amount of maternity/paternity leave.  Sorry I'm not sorry if I offended your ridiculous ways of thinking.  If you want to stop all the madness, then how about you turn your focus back toward the family unit.  Can I get an OORAH?  Sorry for the break in reality that lead to the political body blow towards liberals.  One day I will realize that not everybody is perfect...

Being a stay at home Dad for nearly a year now has shown me that I am absolutely fabulous at entertaining myself.  With that said, I must thank Walter for showing me that napping twice a day is both healthy and imperative.  Most people refer to "10 and 2" when discussing hand placement on a steering wheel;  Walter and I refer to it as our time to cuddle and dream about Miranda Lambert singing us a love song.  There is nothing better than having my boy wake up and realize his Dad is right by his side.  You wanna know why America is so violent?  Look no further than a lack of a father figure in young boys lives.  #YoumyboyWalter

When I look at the photo above I immediately realize that this young Man is the fruit of my loins.  I've never seen something so perfect and I will never be able to repay my wife for harvesting such a specimen.  The learning curve is incredibly steep for the boy and I.  Everyday we are trying to figure each other out, and even though I don't speak the language of the Gods, I feel that I'm beginning to understand him more and more.  I will tell you that my goal is to have Walter potty trained by the time he reaches 19 PFS (Post Fun Slide).  Walter has been going into the bathroom with me since day 1 and it is incredible to watch his curiosity grow.  I will keep you posted on our progress as I firmly believe he will be grabbing and aiming in just a few months.  #WaltervstheToilet

I guess it's time for me to head to bed, but I must tell you that I'm so happy that God blessed me with fatherhood.  My learning curve is extremely fun to color in with random crayons, because as my critics on "Stackers Row" like to point out...I truly have no clue what I am doing.  I actually have a paralegal at Geico that tells me what is and isn't ok to post on facebook (God bless the Gekko).  Anyway, I just wanted this blog to illustrate how amazing being a father truly is if you just embrace it all.  Heck, this past weekend I was changing Walter diaper and he absolutely projectile pooped all over me.  Now some folks might freak out, and panic...I just cracked up and thanks God that my bucket list got a whole lot lighter.  #Freaky

I love you all and hope that this blog finds you smiling!

Cheers and Love,

Christopher  

   

Pursuit of Happiness

There is not a day that goes by that I don't take a moment to give Walter an extended hug and think about his pursuit of happiness.  The young man was born into a society that is faltering and yet his eyes illustrate the epitome of beauty and innocence.  Walter E. Maher is everything that this world needs, and I believe he will one day be a leader of both Men and Women all across this great land.

Today my Son experienced his first birthday, and his Daddy loved every second of it.  He was able to meet twin girls of his age and let's just say they were both fighting for his affection.  The best part of the day was that Walter was an upstanding Gentleman, and he treated both of his girlfriends with respect.  I'm positive that neither one knew that he was simultaneously dating the other.  He was sure to always kiss on the cheek and he never failed to hold their hand when going up or down a little set of stairs.  I wish I could explain to y'all what being a stay at home Father has been like over the past 9 months but it is just not possible.  I guess I would describe it as being in a time machine, and doing everything that I imagine my father did with me at such an age.  The crazy thing is that the lady of the house allows it, because the world knows that I'm rather eccentric and this boy shall be no different.

Walter E. Maher was named after his Great Grandpa, and today I had a little talk with him about that.  My boy does this thing where he hugs me for a long time and I believe it's because he just likes to listen to my beautiful raspy voice.  The truth is that his namesake had one of the most powerful voices the airwaves had ever been blessed with.  I tell you this because I firmly believe my my Grandpa's spirit resides within my boys soul.  I know all parents say that they have the happiest child, but I have to tell you all...Walter just doesn't get upset about anything.  The only time he gets upset is when he goes too long without seeing a boob, and hey, can you blame him?  I know I can't, because I'm the exact same way.  Happy Birthday, Buddy.

The above picture illustrates the way Walter and I spend our days...We have problems getting out of our pajama's and we enjoy going to Target and searching for all the single toddlers (he, not I).  I know I've told you that I never really bought into any of the rules of parenting, but it really is true.  I've let this dude do his thing and I feel he is flourishing as a result.  The world we live in is not conducive to raising a child, and yet I've relished the challenge.  I started this blog with the idea that I would give tips and tricks, but the truth is that I have none.  I, honestly, just let Walter do his own thing during the days.  I allow him to engage me first and I've found that it makes a world of difference.  The one thing that will happen this next year is that we will be starting a Rosetta Stone together.  Walter and I are going to study Spanish together.  I figure it is kind of a must and I imagine a boy with blonde hair and stunning blue eyes will have so many women after him once the Latin ladies figure out my boy is a Papi Chulo!!!

I've been typing for a while now, but allow me to leave you with this.  American society and our culture in general is losing its identity.  Our youth are growing up with a sense of entitlement and the lack of respect is out of control.  It is my goal to instill a sense of discipline within my Son that will carry on for generations.  We must mold our future leaders and we must do so with love and kindness.  I never thought I could love someone so much until I met the heir to my throne.  Walter E. Maher is worthy of the "nightMAHER" title and God willing it shall be his at age 13.

All my love and more,

Christopher

One year check up :)

The blog is back in action and I must apologize for the long break.  The family has been wildly busy and Walter is growing at a rate that Amy and I didn't quite expect.  The young Man went from crawling, to standing to walking around in a matter of days.  I guess I shouldn't be too shocked since his father was once touted as the number one prospect across all American sports.

As you can see from the photo above, Walter is clearly getting his beauty from his Mama and his length from the Maher clan.  What blows me away though is the fact that once he learned to stand and take a few steps, he became a completely different animal.  As a result this blog is dedicated to giving all of you my opinions on modern day parenting and throwing in a few changes I'd like to see happen.  Cheers and Love!!  Now let's get to it!

1.  I have read zero books on parenting and I'd recommend that all new parents do the same.  

2.  I think "cribs" were the worst invention in history.  Why on earth does a child have to sleep in a prison cell?  My next child will have a nice soft mattress in the corner of a child proof room.  If he/she wants to get up and play in the middle of the night, that is he/she's business.

3.  Kids toys are comical, won't ever buy another one.  Walter only wants what I am using at any given time.  I can't blame him...He just wants to be like his Daddy...Hey, most people do.

4.  Taking a nap with my boy is the greatest thing that has ever happened in the history of sleep.  The dude knows how to cuddle, and he's not old enough to where it's weird yet.

5.  Breast feeding causes boys to absolutely lose their minds.  Walter is with me all day long, but all he has to do is get a whiff of his Mama's scent and this dude becomes an enraged boob hunter.  

6.  Walter is nearly 1 year old and I've never taken him to the doctor.  Antibiotics are awful for children and I pray that more parents start using garlic and things like it to heal mind illness's.  

7.  Everyone talks about baby proofing your living quarters, and yet I don't think that the concept makes any sense at all.  How is it possible to glue everything you own to the ceiling?

8.  Boys are obsessed with the goods in their diaper...rightfully so.

9.. I absolutely love how Walter interacts with women who give him the gooo goo gaa gaa routine.  He just bangs his hands around and screams at them...Good Man.

10.. I'm pretty positive that more Men should be stay at home Dad's.  I believe that young boys need to learn from their fathers early and often.  I wouldn't trade anything for the time the boy and I have had together this past year.  I feel like he's learning to be a Man at a very early age and his doing so from one of the greatest this world has ever known.  

11.  Mother's are absolutely incredible.  Breast feeding is flat out not an easy thing for the modern woman and yet it is so incredible to witness my Son get his nutrition and well being from the Queen.

12.  I don't believe in any of the rules that doctors or pediatricians bestow.  I think the entire industry is an absolute joke.  I love the doctors that check on the boy, but the money making side is sad and the fact that parents have almost no say is even sadder.  I'm just happy Walter is surrounded by greatness.

I hope this blog finds you smiling!!!  I will tell you that it's been an awesome year and I suspect big things are in the Maher family's future.

Cheers and Love,

Walter and his Big Humans.

The Male Bond

Walter woke me up this morning around 8:15, and he did so with a huge smile on his face.  I decided to take a moment to just enjoy him while he was rolling around in bed; I began to think about the year ahead.

Being a stay at home Father has been the greatest gift my wife has ever given to me.  Trusting me to be at home and molding her Son while she goes to work and provides for our family is so special. The responsibility can get heavy at times, but the joy I am receiving from the male bonding experience is absolutely priceless.

Walter Eli Maher has become a Man over the past 9 months.  It is absolutely amazing to hang out with my boy, because he now understands the meaning of relationships and he can totally amp himself up for guests just like his Daddy.  People always told me being home with our boy would be hard, but I find it hard for a very different reason.  The fear of failure is always on my mind and thus I wake up each day with a smile and a new plan to make the boy laugh.

As you can see above we are very happy that the weather is growing warmer by the day.  Our long walks are turning into meet and greets in the halls of the House and Senate buildings.  I've found Walter to be so engaged with the staff and the Congress folks themselves.  It is truly special that I am getting the chance to teach Walter about the foundations of freedom.  We've publicly announced our support for Rand Paul and as soon as he announces we will fly flags and sport hats for our future leader.  My boy will not grow up soft, entitled or any other adjective that our current government attempts to bestow upon our youth.  Amy and I raise Spartans in this house, and Walter will live his life among Men and Women worthy of the title. 

The photo above captures the look of a leader, a Man who understands and cares for his people.  A Man who bows to no person, and takes everything from the evil in this world.  My son has done more for Amy and I in 9 months than I could do for him in a lifetime.  He embraces my laughter, hugs his mother as if it were his last and teaches us the meaning of joy.  Walter Eli Maher is fully living up to his namesake and the future is not only bright, but it is alive.

Over the past few months I've been asked for tips on parenting and my tips remain the same.  Treat your child with the respect the young Man or Woman deserves.  I treat Walter as if he's an adult and we carry on as such.  His relationship with me is much different than with Amy and it is beautiful.  Walter seeks out Amy when he is tired and wanting to be embraced by the Queen of the land.  When the boy wants to fight and get aggressive he challenges his father.  These are the times in which dreams are made of.  I will love, honor and respect my son until my dying day and he shall do the same to all those who command it.

We salute you...

All our love and more,

Christopher W. Maher

2015!!!!

On December 31st our young man put on his bow tie and dazzled the world with his million dollar smile.  I know I speak of these things as a proud father, but I truly believe that my little man encompasses everything that it means to be a Maher Man.

As you can see from the image above, my son does not drink craft beers.  He does not go about his day wanting to be anything but an American built Man with a toughness that can't be taught.  On New Years Eve the heir to the throne gave a valiant effort in regards to making it until midnight, but he bowed out just like his mother :).  Being a Dad is like a fairy tale for me.  I'm positive that I drive Amy crazy with my parenting style, but I firmly believe in the way I do things.  Why do I firmly believe you ask?

All I read about online are the struggles of parents to get their children to sleep, eat, respect their elders.  I am no baby whisperer but I will tell you that I have not once spoken to my Spartan like a child.  Don't believe me?  When I walked in tonight from my Euchre Meetup group (yes I make friends in D.C by playing Euchre #scaredofliberals), I was greeted with a fussy if not all out wild Walter.  I let him cry in his crib for a bit; then I turned the lamb on.  He saw my face, and I had a stern talk with him about being the Man of the house and one day being called upon to lead the Maher family into the future.  The boy calmed down and went right to sleep.  I'm not saying that women don't understand Men, but I'm saying that Men run the show around these parts.

Our boy is now 7 months old and he is growing taller and stronger by the day.  I simply love feeding him real food, because it's comical for me to watch him gag on things like broccoli.  It's comical, because I still gag on things like broccoli.  I'm just glad my beautiful wife has sacrificed herself and her body to feed our Man for the last 7 months and beyond.  I can't imagine how stressful it must be for the modern woman to breast feed.  Women are amazing creatures, completely crazy, but amazing physical beings.

Walter, Amy and I are extremely excited for 2015!!!  We are currently planning a family vacation to Maui in July, and perhaps we will even be moved out of D.C an into America by then.  Walter will celebrate my birthday for the first time and he will quickly realize that it's the 2nd most important holiday of the year.  The new Man will talk, walk and hold hands with his first girlfriend in 2015 and I couldn't be more excited.  It's pretty freaking cool to wake up and see your mini me sleeping in the next room.  I really don't have many parenting tips or secrets, because I just treat my boy like a best friend.  We talk about girls, listen to country music and dream about sitting on the back deck drinking beers.  

The next generation has arrived, and I'm positive that he's much smarter and better looking than the current.  

Cheers to Walter and 2015

All my love and more,

Christopher

Love can be Measured

Tonight I heard something that absolutely blew my mind.  "When you become a parent your soul becomes the ghost of your children's future."  I had never thought about time this way, but it really struck a cord on the guitar of this stay at home Dads heart.

I have never been so naive as to view our three dimensional world as reality.  I realize that the universe is vast and our limits to understand simply don't make sense.  I say this only because of the fact that the love we bestow upon others can't be measured and I view that as a limitation to human understanding.  Mankind is not the pinnacle of evolution, nor are we the masters of the universe, but we do have the ability to think beyond our realm and I find that very freaking cool.

I chose to post the picture above, because I actually believe that a 4th dimension can be witnessed in this photo.  As all qualified scientists realize, time is relative, and as a result of this fact I believe we can all see something that proves a 4th dimension can be seen, and eventually understood here on earth.  If you examine the space between father and son, you will soon feel and possibly see a measurable force.  That force can be compared to gravity, and I believe one day it will be measured and harnessed.

I realize I am one of the brightest minds to ever walk the earth, but the truth is my son is on a whole other level.  His innocence and dedication to his smile is creating energy at a level that I simply can't keep up with.  I just hope I'm doing what is best for the boy, and he understands just how dearly I want him to succeed.  How does one measure the success of a stay at home parent?

Living in a one bedroom apartment in one of the most evil cities in the world isn't easy.  One thing is for sure though, Walter gets read to more than any child and yes I'll take that bet.  The question I have is what matters more at this age?  I don't have any of these answers, but it will certainly be interesting to see how Walter develops and adapts once we move south or back to the Midwest where we can get some more room for the boy to roam.  I imagine he will open up and run for hours just like his mama.

Now I will just give you some quick updates on the little man...

***Walter is being introduced to new foods now...Squash, Bananas, Carrots and a few other things.  He is not having any of it so far and I guess that is ok.  He's a booby milk kind of guy and I really can't blame him.

***The boy absolutely prefers to stand up and jump in his bouncer than anything else.  If I didn't know any better I'd guess he will walk before he crawls.

***Potty training is coming along pretty dang well.  I know he's only 6 months, but everyday I put him on the toilet twice and though he doesn't always poop he almost always pees and i give positive reinforcement.  I also bring him to the bathroom with me and let him watch me pee.  I really think this is good policy.

***Walter flat out has a big time bond with his Aunt Brooke.  She makes him laugh and will actually fall asleep on command when she rocks him.  This proves to me that Grandpa's spirit is in the boys body because Brooke and Grandpa had an amazing bond.

Well that is all for now!  We love and miss you all!

Cheers,

Christopher